


How Our Lives Would Change

by thatsafunnytricktoplayongod



Series: Leaving [1]
Category: Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Fluff, One Shot, Pregnancy, Short & Sweet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-22
Updated: 2020-06-22
Packaged: 2021-03-04 01:15:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,317
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24855190
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thatsafunnytricktoplayongod/pseuds/thatsafunnytricktoplayongod
Summary: Anakin and Padmé  are on vacation when Padmé  reveals she might be pregnant. Padmé  shares her fears of raising a baby as a single mother, and as they wait for the test to develop, Anakin shares his own.
Relationships: Padmé Amidala & Anakin Skywalker, anidala - Relationship
Series: Leaving [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2028751
Comments: 5
Kudos: 51





	How Our Lives Would Change

Padmé had been trying to sleep for-she briefly lifted her head to look at the small clock on her nightstand- an hour and a half. Part of it was the moonlight coming in through the window. There was a small gap between where the two curtains met, and it was positioned just right to send a glare from the full moon across her face. Another reason was that she had to pee, a fact she’d been trying to ignore, but when the fully formed thought had crossed her mind, she could think of almost nothing else. There was a third reason for why she couldn’t sleep, but she was holding that as far from her mind as possible. 

She lay in bed for another ten minutes before giving up, sitting up, and placing her feet on the cold floor. It squeaked as she padded past the bed and towards the adjoining bathroom, and she glanced up guiltily. Anakin didn’t stir, and she resumed walking.

The bathroom was smaller than the one at home, but she was glad to have one. The two had stayed at far less inviting places than this in their effort to vacation where no one knew them. One memorable hotel had been more of a reconverted university dorm, something which had not been mentioned on the place’s website. They’d had to share a bathroom with stalls with an entire floor of vacationers. Padmé closed the door behind her and squinted in pain when she flicked on the light. She opted to pee in the dark, and as she washed her hands stared at the dark figure reflected in the mirror. There weren’t any distinguishable features, but it still looked shiftless and guilty of a secret. She shook her hands dry and opened the door again.

She looked at the bed, the streak of moonlight now splayed across her pillow, but the trip to the bathroom had done more to wake her up than put her under. She decided to sit a while on the patio that lay behind the curtains. They’d chosen to rent this house for their anniversary because it was on the outskirts of a small town on a planet on the outer rim. The backyard of the house ended abruptly with the edge of a great forest, and the patio was the perfect place to sit and think.

She grabbed Anakin’s sweater that was lying on the floor at the foot of the bed and put it on. She was wearing a light tee-shirt and pajama shorts, and the night had gotten chilly. She slid the window open and stepped outside. Above her, stars glistened in strange and unfamiliar constellations. Her breath fogged. The furniture on the patio was wet with dew, and she drew her legs up into the sweater as she leaned her head back to look at the stars. 

After a few minutes she heard the door slide open again, and she turned to see Anakin stepping out onto the patio. He was wearing black sweatpants and a gray shirt with short sleeves, and he was rubbing his eyes. When he saw her sitting on a wicker chair, he smiled. 

“So that’s where sweater went.”

“Sorry.”

“No, that’s okay.” He sat on the chair next to her, and blew out a breath. 

“I didn’t mean to wake you.” He shrugged.

“What are you doing out here?” This time she shrugged.

“I don’t know. Just thinking.”

“Okay.” He sat in silence for a minute, before pointing up into the sky. “Do you see that big star?” She followed his finger. There was no mistaking it, it was the biggest on in that section of the sky.

“Yeah.”

“That’s the system where we first met. Every time I go out on a mission, and I miss you, I find that star and it reminds me how much better my life has been since that day.” He smiled at her, but her eyes were filled with tears. She blindly for his hand, and wiped her face on her sleeve. 

“Fuck, I’m sorry. I don’t mean to keep crying on this trip.”

“You don’t have to apologise,” he said softly. Padmé took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. 

“So I was thinking about us. And more specifically, I guess, I was thinking about a baby.”

“A baby.”

“Yeah, um. Mostly like, what would have to change for us with one of those. I don’t know how to explain to my work why I’m going on maternity leave when no one there has had even a whiff of a man in my life. And I wouldn’t want my baby to grow up essentially without a father. Someone she would never see, or even be able to talk about.” She stopped, and looked up at his face. It was expressionless, and somehow that scared her to the core.

“Where’s all of this coming from?” She sighed, and leaned her head back again. His grip on her fingers relaxed and her hand dropped. She closed her eyes.

“I’m late.”

There was a pregnant silence.

“How late?”

“Enough. Remember that night you had that weird flyover on Naboo, like three months ago?” He didn’t speak for a minute. She kept her eyes closed.

“Did you take one of those test already?”

“No.”

She heard his chair squeak as he stood up. He placed a hand on her shoulder.

“I think there’s a convenience store in town. It’s not a far walk.” She opened her eyes and looked up.

“What, now?”

“What do you want to do, go back to sleep?” He turned and went back through the door. She followed, a pit starting to open in her stomach.

They dressed silently (he let her keep the sweater), and in the relative dark. When they opened the front door of the house, Anakin gently took her hand and squeezed it. Their eyes met.

“You ready?” She nodded. They stepped out, and started up the narrow dirt road.

The house was on the outskirts of the small town, but it wasn’t a far walk. There were no drivers on the road, mainly because the properties beyond the house they were renting were mostly farms. It was too late at night, or maybe too early in the morning, for the farmers to be out and about. Padmé wondered if the convenience store would be open. She wondered if they would even have pregnancy tests.

The dirt underfoot changed suddenly to cracked pavement, and soon a sidewalk appeared. They passed dark houses and alleyways. To the right, Padmé saw the glow of a cigarette on a porch, but it wasn’t enough to illuminate the smoker’s face. They walked a few more blocks, and Anakin steered them down a side street towards the convenience store. The lights were on. Padmé couldn’t tell if she was relieved or terrified. (She was terrified.) He pulled open the door and ushered her in.

The inside of the store was much bigger than it appeared from the outside, or maybe Padmé just felt smaller. She had been in a few times before, but never this late. The fluorescent lighting created shadows that stretched across the aisles and across the counter of the cashier, who gave them a bleary-eyed glance before returning to their magazine. Anakin placed a hand on her shoulder and she jumped, but he didn’t notice. His eyes were trained on the signs hanging from the ceiling. 

“Seven,” he muttered to himself, and gently pushed past her. Padmé’s eyes darted to the sign. Aisle seven- family planning.

She swallowed, and followed him deeper into the store. Aisle seven was in the very back, and Padmé hovered at the end of the aisle, picking up items and examining them blindly before putting them back. Anakin was crouched in the center, squinting a box in his hands.

“Hey, can you read Mandalorian?” She started, and almost dropped the chapstick she was holding. Putting it back on the shelf, she joined him crouching in the center of the aisle and tucked her hair behind her ears.

“I know a little, but it’s mostly for diplomatic greetings.” She looked at the box he was holding, which was covered Mandalorian and a language she didn’t recognize. “Why would they have signs in Basic but not their products?”

“I doubt many tourists need pregnancy tests, and I think this planet gets most of its imports from Mandalore,” Anakin replied. “Probably a lot of immigrants, too. Anyway, I can carry on a conversation in Mandalorian, but I can’t read it for shit. This is either a pregnancy test, or a box of glucose strips.” He looked up. “You don’t also secretly have diabetes, do you?” She let out a small laugh, and he turned back to the box, smiling. Padmé suddenly gasped.

“Wait, do you have to pee on glucose strips?”

“Uh, no, I think you poke your finger with a needle. Why?” She grabbed the box out of his hands, and scanned the back.

“Aha! There!” she pointed. “That’s the word for urine. This is a pregnancy test” She grinned triumphantly. This time he laughed.

“Why do you know that? That doesn’t seem very diplomatic.” He hoisted himself up and reached a hand down to help her.

“One of my handmaidens on Naboo was Mandalorian, and she spent a lot of time teaching us rude words to say.”

“Now that is the least diplomatic thing I’ve heard you say all night.” He took her hand again as they walked back up to the front of the store.

“Shut up, I was fourteen. Anyway, the word I learned is very similar to the one on the box.” They reached the counter, and Anakin reached for his wallet.

The walk home was much different than the walk to the store. They walked hand in hand, teasing each other and laughing. Padmé tried to recall the swears she had learned a decade ago, and Anakin taught her a few new ones he had learned on his trips to Mandalore. Padmé finally felt like she was on vacation. The worries of work and her everyday life melted away, along with the anxieties of telling Anakin her secret, and as she breathed out the night air she could almost see those worries and anxieties exhaled. 

Back at the house, Anakin led them back to the bedroom. He sat on the bed and waited while Padmé was in the bathroom, this time with the lights on. After a minute, she came out, wiping her clean hands on the front of his sweater.

“I think the directions said we had to wait five minutes. Two lines is positive, one is negative” She placed a paper towel on the bedside table. On it lay the test, the display still blank. Padmé climbed onto the bed, and settled in next to Anakin, who wrapped an arm around her. They both stared at the paper towel.

“Padmé,” Anakin said after a minute, “I don’t want our baby to grow up without a father, either.”

She looked up into his face, but he was glaring forcefully at the pregnancy test.

“What do you mean?” She kept her voice measured, but there was an explosion slowly making its way up from the bottom of her stomach.

“I was thinking about what you said earlier. About how our lives would have to change. And I think.” He blinked, and looked down to meet her gaze. His eyes softened. “I told you when we got married that I would do anything for you. And I meant it. I’m going to leave the Jedi. Even if the test isn’t positive, I’m going to leave.”

The explosion that had been building in Padmé erupted and she threw her arms around his neck.

“Are you serious?” She whispered in his ear. Anakin’s arms folded around her.

“I’m serious.”

Padmé pulled back until she could see his face.

“Anakin, this is a huge decision. I don’t want you to do this just because of me.”

“That can’t be reason enough?” He teased gently. “I would move the stars for you, I would jump in a pit of lava for you, I would do anything for you.” His face turned grave suddenly, and he pulled Padmé back against him. “I know this hasn’t been easy for you. I know how worried you get when I’m gone.” He let out a gusty sigh. “It wouldn’t get easier with a baby, and I couldn’t stand to miss any new moments without you. Besides, this isn’t a spur of the moment decision. I was raised with the Jedi, but they never felt like family, not like you or Obi-Wan or Ashoka.” He laughed, a small, painful laugh. “I don’t think I’ve ever been happy with them, I don’t think they want me to be happy. You want me to be happy, and I want to make you happy. I can’t do that when I’m half a star system away.”

Padmé didn’t say anything for a moment, just let herself breathe and feel him breathe and let the tears flow down from her eyes and into his hair. She breathed and again felt like all her anxiety was leaving her body with every breath. After another minute, they both pulled back and wiped their eyes and laughed at each other wiping their eyes.

“Oh, I think the test should be ready now,” Padmé said. As soon as she said it a wave of anxiety washed back over her, and she grabbed for Anakin’s hand.

He took it gently, and looked into her eyes with such gentle patience that she felt another bout of tears coming on.

“Hey, no matter what, we’re going to be okay, alright?” He said softly. “We’re going to be together.”

She smiled as two last tears slipped down her face.

“I have a good feeling about this.”

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this about a year ago and never finished it. There wasn't much left to finish- less than a page. It feels nice to finish a project :) 
> 
> I wanted to rail against the Jedi Order in Anakin's little speech, but it didn't fit the tone. If there's a follow up, I want to explore why he decides to leave the Order, their treatment of him as the Chosen One, and even just as a person. 
> 
> This is also the first thing I've written in about a year that wasn't about lesbians, so it was strange writing a straight relationship. (don't get it twisted, these two ain't straight.)
> 
> Thanks for reading, even if you don't leave kudos or a comment it's really cool knowing people have read and enjoyed words I wrote :)


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